The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 2 STITCHES

CARLISLE WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO STAYED calm. Centuries of experience in the emergency room were evident in his quiet, authoritative voice.Emmett, Rose, maintain Jasper off placement.Unsmiling for once, Emmett nodded. Come on, Jasper.Jasper struggled against Emmetts unbreakable grasp, twisting well-nigh, reaching toward his brother with his bared teeth, his touch unagitated past reason.Edwards guinea pig was black-and-bluer than bone as he revolve to crouch over me, taking a clearly defensive position. A low warning growl slid from between his clenched teeth. I could tell that he wasnt brea amour.Rosalie, her divine face strangely smug, stepped in front of Jasperkeeping a careful distance from his teethand helped Emmett wrestle him by the glass entry that Esme held open, one hand touch over her mouth and nose.Esmes heart-shaped face was ashamed. Im so sorry, Bella, she cried as she followed the others into the yard.Let me by, Edward, Carlisle murmured.A second passed, and thence Edward nodded slowly and relaxed his stance.Carlisle knelt beside me, leaning close to examine my artillery. I could witness the shock frozen on my face, and I tried to compose it.Here, Carlisle, Alice said, handing him a towel.He shook his dubiousness. Too a lot glass in the wound. He reached over and ripped a long, thin scrap from the bottom of the white tablec hatfulh. He twisted it most my arm above the elbow to form a tourniquet. The nip of the blood was devising me dizzy. My ears rang.Bella, Carlisle said softly. Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you a equivalent me to coach care of it here?Here, please, I whispered. If he took me to the hospital, there would be no way to keep this from Charlie.Ill select your bag, Alice said.Lets take her to the kitchen table, Carlisle said to Edward.Edward lifted me effortless(prenominal)ly, while Carlisle unploughed the pressure steady on my arm.How are you doing, Bella? Carlisle asked.Im fine. My voic e was moderately steady, which pleased me.Edwards face was like stone.Alice was there. Carlisles black bag was already on the table, a small unless brilliant desk light plugged into the wall. Edward sat me gently into a chair, and Carlisle pulled up another. He went to work at once.Edward stood over me, still protective, still not brea issue.Just go, Edward, I sighed.I can handle it, he insisted. tho his jaw was rigid his eyes burned with the intensity of the thirst he fought, so much worse for him than it was for the others.You dont need to be a hero, I said. Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air.I winced as Carlisle did something to my arm that stung.Ill stay, he said.Why are you so masochistic? I mumbled.Carlisle decided to intercede. Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he abridges too far. Im sure hes upset with himself, and I doubt hell listen to anyone but you right now.Yes, I eagerly agreed. Go find Jasper.You might as well do something useful, Alice added.Edwards eyes narrowed as we ganged up on him, but, finally, he nodded once and sprinted smoothly through with(predicate) the kitchens plunk for door. I was sure he hadnt taken a breath since Id sliced my finger.A numb, dead feeling was airing through my arm.Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisles face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he crumpled over my arm. I could feel the faint stirrings of unease in the pit of my stomach, but I was determined not to let my usual squeamishness get the best of me. There was no pain now, just a gentle tugging sensation that I tried to ignore. No reason to get sick like a baby.If she hadnt been in my line of sight, I wouldnt arrive noticed Alice give up and steal out of the room. With a tiny, apologetic smile on her lips, she disappeared through the kitchen doorway.Well, thats everyone, I sighed. I can clear a room, a t least.Its not your fault, Carlisle comforted me with a chuckle. It could happen to anyone.Could I repeated. tho it usually just happens to me.He laughed again.His relaxed calm was only more amazing set in direct contrast with everyone elses reaction. I couldnt find any trace of anxiety in his face. He worked with quick, sure movements. The only sound besides our quiet breathing was the soft plink, plink as the tiny fragments of glass dropped one by one to the table.How can you do this? I demanded. Even Alice and Esme I trailed off, shaking my head in wonder. Though the rest of them had attached up the traditional diet of vampires just as fastly as Carlisle had, he was the only one who could bear the smell of my blood without suffering from the intense temptation. Clearly, this was much more rugged than he made it put onm. eld and years of practice, he told me. I barely notice the scent anymore.Do you return it would be seriouslyer if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time. And werent around any blood? perhaps. He shrugged his shoulders, but his hands remained steady. Ive never felt the need for an extended holiday. He flashed a brilliant smile in my direction. I enjoy my work too much.Plink, plink, plink. I was surprised at how much glass there conceivemed to be in my arm. I was tempted to glance at the exploitation pile, just to check the size, but I k refreshing that idea would not be helpful to my no-vomiting strategy.What is it that you enjoy? I wondered. It didnt make sense to methe years of struggle and abstemiousness he must vex spend to get to the point where he could endure this so easily. Besides, I valued to keep him talking the conversation kept my mind off the queasy feeling in my stomach.His shady eyes were calm and thoughtful as he answered. Hmm. What I enjoy the very most is when my enhanced abilities let me save someone who would otherwise have been lost. Its pleasant doing that, thanks to what I can do, some peoples lives are better because I exist. Even the sense of smell is a useful diagnostic tool at times. One side of his mouth pulled up in half a smile.I mulled that over while he poked around, making sure all the glass splinters were gone. then he rummaged in his bag for new tools, and I tried not to picture a needle and thread.You try very hard to make up for something that was never your fault, I suggested while a new kind of tugging started at the edges of my skin. What I mean is, its not like you asked for this. You didnt choose this kind of life, and yet you have to work so hard to be good.I dont know that Im making up for anything, he disagreed lightly. Like everything in life, I just had to decide what to do with what I was given.That makes it sound too easy.He examined my arm again. There, he said, snipping a thread. All done. He wiped an oversized Q-tip, dripping with some syrup-colored liquid, thoroughly across the operation site. The smell was strange it made my head sp in. The syrup stained my skin.In the ascendent, though, I pressed while he taped another long piece of gauze securely in place, seal off it to my skin. Why did you even think to try a different way than the obvious one?His lips turned up in a private smile. Hasnt Edward told you this narrative?Yes. scarce Im trying to understand what you were thinkingHis face was suddenly serious again, and I wondered if his thoughts had gone to the same place that mine had. Wondering what I would be thinking whenI refused to think ifit was me.You know my father was a clergyman, he mused as he cleaned the table carefully, rubbing everything down with wet gauze, and then doing it again. The smell of alcohol burned in my nose. He had a rather harsh view of the world, which I was already beginning to question before the time that I changed. Carlisle upchuck all the dirty gauze and the glass slivers into an empty crystal bowl. I didnt understand what he was doing, even when he lit the match. Then he threw it onto the alcohol-soaked fibers, and the sudden blaze made me jump.Sorry, he apologized. That ought to do it So I didnt agree with my fathers particular brand of faith. But never, in the nearly four hundred years now since I was born, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form or the other. Not even the watching in the mirror.I pretended to examine the dressing on my arm to hide my surprise at the direction our conversation had taken. Religion was the last thing I expected, all things considered. My own life was fairly devoid of belief. Charlie considered himself a Lutheran, because thats what his parents had been, but Sundays he worshipped by the river with a fishing pole in his hand. Renee tried out a church now and then, but, much like her brief affairs with tennis, pottery, yoga, and French classes, she moved on by the time I was aware of her newest fad.Im sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire. He grinned, knowin g how their casual use of that word never failed to shock me. But Im hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. Its a long shot, Ill admit, he continued in an offhand voice. By all accounts, were damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that well get some measure of credit for trying.I dont think thats foolish, I mumbled. I couldnt imagine anyone, deity included, who wouldnt be impressed by Carlisle. Besides, the only kind of heaven I could appreciate would have to include Edward. And I dont think anyone else would, either.Actually, youre the very first one to agree with me.The rest of them dont feel the same? I asked, surprised, thinking of only one person in particular.Carlisle guessed the direction of my thoughts again. Edwards with me up to a point. God and heaven exist and so does hell. But he doesnt believe there is an aft(prenominal)life for our kind. Carlisles voice was very soft he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. You se e, he thinks weve lost our intelligences.I immediately thought of Edwards words this afternoon unless you want to dieor whatever it is that we do. The lightbulb flicked on over my head.Thats the real problem, isnt it? I guessed. Thats why hes being so difficult around me.Carlisle spoke slowly. I locution at my son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of himand it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?I nodded in fervent agreement.But if I believed as he does He looked down at me with unfathomable eyes. If you believed as he did. Could you take away his soul?The way he phrased the question thwarted my answer.If hed asked me whether I would risk my soul for Edward, the reply would be obvious. But would I risk Edwards soul? I pursed my lips unhappily. That wasnt a fair exchange.You see the problem.I shook my head, aware of the stubborn set of my chin.Carlisle sighed.Its my choice, I insisted.Its h is, too. He held up his hand when he could see that I was about to argue. Whether he is responsible for doing that to you.Hes not the only one able to do it. I eyed Carlisle speculatively.He laughed, boldly lightening the mood. Oh, no Youre going to have to work this out with him.But then he sighed. Thats the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that Ive done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I cant decide.I didnt answer. I imagined what my life would be like if Carlisle had resisted the temptation to change his lonely existence and shuddered.It was Edwards mother who made up my mind. Carlisles voice was almost a whisper. He stared unseeingly out the black windows.His mother? Whenever Id asked Edward about his parents, he would merely say that they had died long ago, and his memories were vague. I agnize Carlisles memory of them, de foulness the brevity of their contact, would be perfectly cle ar.Yes. Her list was Elizabeth. Elizabeth Masen. His father, Edward Senior, never regained consciousness in the hospital. He died in the first wave of the influenza. But Elizabeth was alert until almost the very end. Edward looks a great deal like hershe had that same strange bronze shade to her hair, and her eyes were exactly the same color green.His eyes were green? I murmured, trying to picture it.Yes Carlisles ocher eyes were a hundred years away now. Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. When the end came for her, it was very quick. It was just after sunset, and Id arrived to relieve the doctors whod been working all day. That was a hard time to pretendthere was so much work to be done, and I had no need of rest. How I hated to go back to my house, to hide in the dark and pretend to sleep while so many were dying.I went to c heck Elizabeth and her son first. Id grown attachedalways a dangerous thing to do considering the fragile character of humans. I could see at once that shed taken a bad turn. The fever was raging out of control, and her body was too weak to fight anymore.She didnt look weak, though, when she glared up at me from her cot.Save him she commanded me in the hoarse voice that was all her throat could manage.Ill do everything in my power, I promised her, taking her hand. The fever was so high, she in all likelihood couldnt even tell how unnaturally cold mine felt. Everything felt cold to her skin.You must, she insisted, clutching at my hand with enough strength that I wondered if she wouldnt pull through the crisis after all. Her eyes were hard, like stones, like emeralds. You must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward.It frightened me. She looked it me with those piercing eyes, and, for one instant, I felt certain that she knew my secr et. Then the fever overwhelmed her, and she never regained consciousness. She died within an hour of making her demand.Id spent decades considering the idea of creating a companion for myself. Just one other creature who could really know me, rather than what I pretended to be. But I could never justify it to myselfdoing what had been done to me.There Edward lay, dying. It was clear that he had only hours left. Beside him, his mother, her face somehow not yet peaceful, not even in death.Carlisle saw it all again, his memory unblurred by the intervening century. I could see it clearly, too, as he spokethe despair of the hospital, the whelm atmosphere of death. Edward burning with fever, his life slipping away with each tick of the clock I shuddered again, and forced the picture from my mind.Elizabeths words echoed in my head. How could she guess what I could do? Could anyone really want that for her son?I looked at Edward. Sick as he was, he was still beautiful. There was something pure and good about his face. The kind of face I would have wanted my son to have.After all those years of indecision, I simply acted on a whim. I wheel his mother to the morgue first, and then I came back for him. No one noticed that he was still breathing. There werent enough hands, enough eyes, to keep booster cable of half of what the patients needed. The morgue was emptyof the living, at least. I stole him out the back door, and carried him across the rooftops back to my home.I wasnt sure what had to be done. I settled for recreating the wounds Id legitimate myself, so many centuries earlier in London. I felt bad about that later. It was more awful and lingering than necessary.I wasnt sorry, though. Ive never been sorry that I saved Edward. He shook his head, coming back to the present. He smiled at me. I suppose I should take you home now.Ill do that, Edward said. He came through the shadowy dining room, walking slowly for him. His face was smooth, unreadable, but there was something wrong with his eyessomething he was trying very hard to hide. I felt a spasm of unease in my stomach.Carlisle can take me, I said. I looked down at my shirt the light blue like was soaked and patched with my blood. My right shoulder was covered in thick pink frosting.Im fine. Edwards voice was unemotional. Youll need to change anyway. Youd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. Ill have Alice get you something. He strode out the kitchen door again.I looked at Carlisle anxiously. Hes very upset.Yes, Carlisle agreed. Tonight is exactly the kind of thing that he fears the most. You being put in danger, because of what we are.Its not his fault.Its not yours, either.I looked away from his wise, beautiful eyes. I couldnt agree with that.Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I followed him out into the main room. Esme had follow back she was absorb the floor where Id fallenwith straight bleach from the smell of it.Esme, let me do that. I could f eel that my face was bright red again.Im already done. She smiled up at me. How do you feel?Im fine, I assured her. Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor Ive had.They two chuckled.Alice and Edward came in the back doors. Alice hurried to my side, but Edward hung back, his face indecipherable.Cmon, Alice said. Ill get you something less macabre to wear.She found me a shirt of Esmes that was close to the same color mine had been. Charlie wouldnt notice, I was sure. The long white bandage on my arm didnt look nearly as serious when I was no longer spattered in gore. Charlie was never surprised to see me bandaged.Alice, I whispered as she headed back to the door.Yes? She kept her voice low, too, and looked at me curiously, her head cocked to the side.How bad is it? I couldnt be sure if my whispering was a wasted effort. Even though we were upstairs, with the door closed, possibly he could hear me.Her face tensed. Im not sure yet.Hows Jasper?She sighed. Hes very unhappy with himse lf. Its all so much more of challenge for him, and he hates feeling weak.Its not his fault. Youll tell him that Im not mad at him, not at all, wont you?Of course.Edward was waiting for me by the front door. As I got to the bottom of the staircase, he held it open without a word.Take your things Alice cried as I walked warily toward Edward. She scooped up the two packages, one half-opened, and my camera from under the piano, and pressed them into my good arm. You can thank me later, when youve opened them.Esme and Carlisle both said a quiet goodnight. I could see them stealing quick glances at their impassive son, much like I was.It was a relief to be outside I hurried past the lanterns and the roses, now unwelcome reminders. Edward kept pace with me silently. He opened the passenget side for me, and I climbed in withoutcomplaint.On the facia was a big red ribbon, stuck to the new stereo. I pulled it off, throwing it to the floor. As Edward slid into the other side, I kicked the rib bon under my seat.He didnt look at me or the stereo. neither of us switched it on, and the silence was somehow intensified by the sudden thunder of the engine. He drove chisel too fast down the dark, serpentine lane.The silence was making me insane.Say something, I finally begged as he turned onto the freeway.What do you want me to say? he asked in a detached voice.I cringed at his remoteness. Tell me you forgive me.That brought a flicker of life to his facea flicker of anger. Forgive you? For what?If Id been more careful, nothing would have happened.Bella, you gave yourself a paper cutthat hardly deserves the death penalty.Its still my fault.My words opened up the floodgate.Your fault? If youd cut yourself at Mike Newtons house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly have happened would be what? Maybe they couldnt find you a bandage? If youd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your ownwithout someone throwing you i nto themeven then, whats the worst? Youd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you upand he wouldnt be righting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Dont try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself.How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation? I demanded.Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with, he growled.Id rather die than be with Mike Newton, I protested. Id rather die than be with anyone but you.Dont be melodramatic, please.Well then, dont you be ridiculous.He didnt answer. He glared through the windshield, his expression black.I racked my brain for some way to salvage the evening. When we pulled up in front of my house, I still hadnt come up with anything.He killed the engine, but his hands stayed clenched around the steering wheel.Will you stay to night? I asked.I should go home.The last thing I wanted was for him to go wallow in remorse.For my birthday, I pressed.You cant have it both wayseither you want people to ignore your birthday or you dont. One or the other.His voice was stern, but not .is serious as before. I breathed a silent sigh of relief.Okay. Ive decided that I dont want you to ignore my birthday. Ill see you upstairs.I hopped out, reaching back in for my packages. He frowned.You dont have to take those.I want them, I responded automatically, and then wondered if he was using reverse psychology.No, you dont. Carlisle and Esme spent coin on you.Ill live. I tucked the presents awkwardly under my good arm and slammed the door behind me. He was out of the truck and by my side in less than a second.Let me carry them, at least. he said as he took them away. Ill be in your room.I smiled. Thanks.Happy birthday, he sighed, and leaned down to touch his lips to mine.I reached up on my toes to make the kiss last longer whe n he pulled away. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and then he disappeared into the darkness.The game was still on as soon as I walked through the front door I could hear the announcer rambling over the burp of the crowd.Bell? Charlie called.Hey, Dad, I said as I came around the corner. I held my arm close to my side. The slight pressure burned, and I wrinkled my nose. The anesthetic was manifestly losing its effectiveness.How was it? Charlie lounged across the sofa with his bare feet propped up on the arm. What was left of his curly brown hair was crushed flat on one side.Alice went overboard. Flowers, cake, candles, presentsthe whole bit.What did they get you?A stereo for my truck. And various unknowns.Wow.Yeah, I agreed. Well, Im calling it a night.Ill see you in the morning.I waved. See ya.What happened to your arm?I flushed and cursed silently. I tripped. Its nothing.Bella, he sighed, shaking his head.Goodnight, Dad.I hurried up to the bathroom, where I kept my pajamas fo r just such nights as these. I shrugged into the matching tank top and cotton pants that Id gotten to replace the holey sweats I used to wear to bed, wincing as the movement pulled at the stitches. I washed my face one- transfer, brushed my teeth, and then skipped to my room.He was sitting in the center of my bed, toying idly with one of the silver boxes.Hi, he said. His voice was sad. He was wallowing.I went to the bed, pushed the presents out of his hands, and climbed into his rinse.Hi. I draw close into his stone chest. Can I open my presents now?Where did the enthusiasm come from? he wondered.You made me curious.I picked up the long flat rectangle that must have been from Carlisle and Esme.Allow me, he suggested. He took the gift from my hand and tore the silver paper off with one fluid movement. He handed the rectangular white box back to me.Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid? I muttered, but he ignored me.Inside the box was a long thick piece of paper with an overwhel ming amount of fine print. It took me a minute to get the gist of the information.Were going to Jacksonville? And I was excited, in anguish of myself. It was a voucher for plane tickets, for both me and Edward.Thats the idea.I cant believe it. Renee is going to flip You dont mind, though, do you? Its sunny, youll have to stay inside all day.I think I can handle it, he said, and then frowned. If Id had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought youd complain.Well, of course its too much. But I get to take you with meHe chuckled. Now I wish Id spent money on your present. I didnt realize that you were capable of being reasonable.I set the tickets aside and reached for his present, my curiosity rekindled. He took it from me and unwrapped it like the first one.He handed back a clear CD jewel case, with a blank silver CD inside.What is it? I asked, perplexed.He didnt say anything he took the CD and reached around me to put it in the CD player on the bedside table. He hit play, and we waited in silence. Then the music began.I listened, speechless and wide-eyed. I knew he was waiting for my reaction, but I couldnt talk. Tears welled up, and I reached up to wipe them away before they could spill over.Does your arm hurt? he asked anxiously.No, its not my arm. Its beautiful, Edward. You couldnt have given me anything I would love more. I cant believe it. I shut up, so I could listen.It was his music, his compositions. The first piece on the CD was my lullaby.I didnt think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here, he explained.Youre right.How does your arm feel?Just fine. Actually, it was starting to blaze under the bandage. I wanted ice. I would have settled for his hand, but that would have given me away.Ill get you some Tylenol.I dont need anything, I protested, but he slid me off his lap and headed for the door.Charlie, I hissed. Charlie wasnt exactly aware tha t Edward frequently stayed over. In fact, he would have a stroke if that fact were brought to his attention. But I didnt feel too shamed for deceiving him It wasnt as if we were up to anything he wouldnt want me to be up to. Edward and his rulesHe wont catch me, Edward promised as he disappeared silently out the door . . and returned, catching the door before it had swung back to touch the frame. He had the glass from the bathroom and the bottle of pills in one hand.I took the pills he handed me without arguingI knew I would lose the seam And my arm really was starting to bother me.My lullaby continued, soft and lovely, in the background.Its late, Edward noted. He scooped me up off the bed with one arm, and pulled the cover back with the other. He put me down with my head on my pillow and tucked the quilt around me. He lay down next to meon top of the blanket so I wouldnt get chilledand put his arm over me.I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed happily.Thanks again, I whi spered.Youre welcome.It was quiet for a long moment as I listened to my lullaby drift to a close. Another song began. I recognized Esmes favorite.What are you thinking about? I wondered in a whisper.He hesitated for a second before he told me. I was thinking about right and wrong, actually.I felt a chill tingle along my spine. think back how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday? I asked quickly, hoping it wasnt too clear that I was trying to distract him.Yes, he agreed, wary.Well, I was thinking, since its still my birthday, that Id like you to kiss me again.Youre greedy tonight.Yes, I ambut please, dont do anything you dont want to do, I added, piqued.He laughed, and then sighed. Heaven forbid that I should do anything I dont want to do, he said in a strangely desperate tone as he put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to his.The kiss began much the same as usualEdward was as careful as ever, and my heart began to overreact like it always did. And then so mething seemed to change. Suddenly his lips became much more urgent, his free hand twisted into my hair and held my face securely to his. And, though my hands tangled in his hair, too, and though I was clearly beginning to cross his cautious lines, for once he didnt stop me. His body was cold through the thin quilt, but I crushed myself against him eagerly.When he stopped it was abrupt he pushed me away with gentle, firm hands.I collapsed back onto my pillow, gasping, my head spinning. Something tugged at my memory, elusive, on the edges.Sorry, he said, and he was breathless, too. That was out of line.I dont mind, I panted.He frowned at me in the darkness. Try to sleep. Bella.No, I want you to kiss me again.Youre overestimating my self-control.Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body? I challenged.Its a tie. He grinned briefly in spite of himself, and then was serious again. Now. why dont you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?Fine, I agreed, snuggling closer to him. I re ally did feel exhausted. It had been a long day in so many ways, yet I felt no sense of relief at its end. Almost as if something worse was coming tomorrow. It was a silly premonitionwhat could be worse than today? Just the shock catching up with me, no doubt.Trying to be sneaky about it, I pressed my injured arm against his shoulder, so his cool skin would sooth the burning. It felt better at once.I was halfway asleep, maybe more, when I realized what his kiss had reminded me of last spring, when hed had to leave me to throw James off my trail, Edward had kissed me goodbye, not knowing whenor ifwe would see each other again. This kiss had the same almost painful edge for some reason I couldnt imagine. I shuddered into unconsciousness, as if I were already having a nightmare.